1. |
Pretend Words (TS)
02:51
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One day Ill be leaving
Not by choice but by force of habit
These lines can be read
like a map, showing you which way this will go
I can't remember the details of your face
just the shapes are being made.
So familiar like an old friend
So whisper to me that it all will be okay
Just let me do something right for once
Because we all know these nights can kill us
I wish I could be a better man
But we all know that's asking too much
For the both of us
And all I ever wanted was for you to feel complete
Please just do that for me
Because in the end I don't matter
We all know who I'm going to be
I'm broken, tired, and destine for nothing
this is who I'm going to be
The disappointment covers me like a blanket
and its binding me to sleep
and Ill close my eyes
and you can tell me one last time
that it will be alright
One more lie wont kill me
or at least it hasn't yet
please just tell me anything
I just want to forget.
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2. |
A: Stone Repeater
03:30
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Deeper into thought
these dreams are turning into nightmares
Spiraling around inside my head
I'm locked in here alone
Abandoning the idea of existence
I can't let go
even of the thought of you
the scent of you
my heart grows firm, cold
hardened by my feeling of failure
each day the light gets dimmer
happiness fades more and more
with each passing second
no laughter
no love
no feeling except regret.
Just a heart made of tissue and stone
diving further into this hell.
Knowing nothing but fragments of another life
that could have been
It could have been me and you
but you fucked it up
oh no, wait, no.
I fucked it up
and things will never
ever
be the same
and now I know I'm the one to blame.
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3. |
B: You Fail Me
02:58
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Love is everyone's answer to the fear of dying alone
So Ill make one more toast to these endless nights of loneliness
Drown in your self pity
that's the best thing you know how to do
Drown in your self pity
that's the best things you know.
Hopes something I had before
But I can't figure out whats the use
It's something that comes with dreams
But all of my dreams are dead
So I sit around with this fucking gun in my hand
and I wait for that day
that I have the courage to do what I fucking say.
Because all of my dreams are day
So come, please do it.
Come on, please do it for me.
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4. |
Asphalt
03:51
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Theses nights are callous
so desolate and cold
my room is empty
with the street light hum vibrating through the window
and my bed is firm
with my back pressed against the springs
and I keep wondering how Ive become the worst of everything?
and these thoughts fill up the walls
full of stone and foreign feels.
bowing at the foundation
until one day I sink again
when will I catch my break?
When will this all be just another dream?
I hold onto this sliver of concern
waiting for the day it will start again
This ceiling could be my final scene
an eggshell void of disbelief
and Ive never been to this point
of trying to get rid of me.
And as the blood flows upward into my brain
Shutting off the feelings it takes to feel complete
the stars shine so bright, but my eyes are too blurred to see
I wonder if Ill ever see the beauty, that people see within everything.
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5. |
Edit/Departure
04:25
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I'm feeling distant and angry
My loneliness is increasing
and I can't shake this
It clings to my bones like muscles underneath
Each day gets harder to swallow
further dragging me underneath
I keep waiting for the helping hand
but I think it is too weak
and I'm too far gone for help now
Theirs nothing you can do
I can't be saved as long as the past
is what is making me sink
the soils soft under my feet
I kneel down to rip through the seam
looking to find answers to problems
beneath the stone and dirt and leaves
looking for fragments of the past
hidden with loss of love ones
find pieces of me
and these departures aren't just for souls
they are pictures and words and looks
they burn through my clothes
embedding into my skin
each scar, a different story
each scar, a lifetime
reminder of things I can never leave
and things ill never have again
but I know one day ill be strong
or at least that's what I like to think
It would be much easier
if I had something or someone else to blame.
I'm trying to figure out a remedy
before i sit around and let it eat
The whiskey seems to make me forget
but I cant cure these voices I hear
I must try harder
must keep going
be vigilant
before I shut off from everything
everything around me
I wont let the past get the best of me
I know it will never leave
I will never forget
but I cant let it take me
No, I wont let it take over again
If I can't take me back
then this will be the end
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